Confucious say...
- Man who drops watch in toilet bound to have shitty time
- Man who fart in church sit in own pew
- Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day
- Man who buy drowned cat pay for wet pussy
- Learn to masturbate, come in handy
- Good for girl to meet boy in park, But better for boy to park meat in girl
- Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock
- Man who digs for gold in nose take out gilded finger
- Man who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand
- Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok
- Man with penis in cookie jar fucking crackers
- Man who go to bed with itchy bottom wake up with smelly finger
- Man with hand in pocket not necessarily looking for change.
- Secretary not permanent until screwed on desk.
- Naked man fears no pick pocket.
- Man who masturbate only screwing himself.
- The hand that turneth the knob opens the door.
- Best way to prevent hangover is to stay drunk.
- Man trapped in sewer eat shit and die.
- He who eats crackers in bed get crummy sleep.
- Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters into his own hands.
- Man who run in front of car get tired.
- Man who run behind car get exhausted.
- Wise man never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
- He who sniffs coke drowns.
- Man who piss into wind get wet.
- Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloons
- Never eat yellow snow.
- Man who put head on Rail Road track to listen for train likely
- to end up with splitting headache.
- He who lives in glass house dresses in basement.
- Man with one chopstick go hungry.
- Man who go to bed with diarrhoea wake up in deep shit.
- A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.
- Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless
bastard.
- Baseball very funny game--man with 4 balls no can walk!!
- Butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders.
- Elevator smell different to midget.
- Fly who sit on toilet seat get pissed off.
- He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
- He who sleep with itchy bum, he will wake with smelly thumb.
- He who stands in corner with hands in pocket doesn't feel crazy, feels nuts.
- He who stands on toilet seat is high on pot; and he who sniffs Coke, drowns.
- Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself.
- Man who lose key to apartment not get new key.
- Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.
- Man who put face in punchbowl get punch in nose.
- Man who screws near graveyard is fucking near dead.
- Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.
- Man with an unchecked parachute will jump to conclusion.
- Woman who fly upside down have hairy crackup.
- Woman who put detergent on top shelf jump for Joy.
- Man who go to bed with diarrhea wake up in deep shit.
- Man trapped in sewer eat shit and die.
- Hockey player on ice have big stick.
- Man who go to McDonald's eat out stinky meat.
- Penis put in vacuum cleaner get sucked off.
- Man who pull out too soon get hit in rear end.
- Priest with dick in snow like cold one before mass.
- Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.
- Man who paints on toilet door is a shithouse painter.
- Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam.
- Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
- Virgin like bubble. One prick, all gone.
- Man with hand in pocket is having a ball.
- Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.
- Man with no legs bums around.
- A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.
- Man who smoke pot choke on handle.
- It is Ok for shit to happen. Shit will decompose.
- Man who put head on Rail Road track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting
headache.
- Never raise hands to angry child, it leave groin exposed.
- Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot is unsanitary.
- Man who sink into woman's arms soon have arms in woman's sink.
- Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!
- Man who sit on tack get point!
- Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
- War does not determine who is right; war determines who is left.
- Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
- Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
- It take many nails to build crib; but one screw to fill it.
- Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
- Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.