><< Actual dialog of a former Wordperfect Customer Support employee: 
> "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
> "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." 
> "What sort of trouble?"
> "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.", 
> "Went away?"
> "They disappeared."
> "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" 
> "Nothing."
> "Nothing?"
> "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." 
> "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" 
> "How do I tell?"
> "Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?" 
> "What's a sea-prompt?"
> "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
> "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." 
> "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
> "What's a monitor?"
> "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a 
> little light that tells you when it's on?"
>      
> "I don't know."
> "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord 
> goes into it. Can you see that?"
>      
> ......"Yes, I think so."
> "Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the 
> wall."
>      
> ......"Yes, it is."
> "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two 
> cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
> "No."
> "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other 
> cable."
>      
> ......"Okay, here it is."
> "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of 
> your computer."
>      
> "I can't reach."
> "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" 
> "No."
> "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
> "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark." 
> "Dark?"
> "Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from 
> the window."
>      
> "Well, turn on the office light then." 
> "I can't."
> "No? Why not?"
> "Because there's a power outage."
> "A power...  A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you 
> still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?" 
> "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
> "Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was 
> when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
>      
> "Really? Is it that bad?"
> "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
> "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?" 
> "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer." >>