Stuff to Ponder - Results of a contest for
"theories" sponsored by Omni magazine.
If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of
pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an
infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce
all the world's great literary works in Braille.
Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on
your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums
unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to
even it out.
Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they
have no alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to communicate
ideas at a faster rate.
The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just
as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are
brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause
our planet to spin dangerously fast.
HONORABLE MENTION: The quantity of consonants in the English
language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in
another. When a Bostonian "pahks" his
"cah,"the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan
to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells."
GRAND PRIZE WINNER: When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its
feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the
buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to
the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the
ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail
could easily link New York with Chicago.