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Quotes And Jokes


"Take nothing but pictures, Leave nothing but footprints, Waste nothing but time." - The National Speleological Society motto

"We walk ourselves into ruts so deep we cannot see over them." - Tom Brown Jr.

"Evil can be a teacher, if you look at the wisdom of its negative power." - Tom Brown Jr.

"The woods are lovely dark and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep..." - Robert Frost

"If you look upon each day as the first day of your life, think of the many lives you will live." - Unknown

"Incompetence is the key to adventure." - Unknown

"God is too big for only one religion." - Unknown

"The cosmic hippo has landed... " - Bela Fleck and the Flecktones

"He that is kind is free, though he is a slave; he that is evil is a slave, though he be a king. " - Saint Augustine

If a man walks in the woods for love of them half of each day, he is in danger of being regarded as a loafer; but if he spends his whole day as a speculator, shearing off those woods and making earth bald before her time, he is esteemed an industrious and enterprising citizen. As if a town had no interest in its forests but to cut them down! - Thoreau

How can we heal mother earth?
"She can heal herself, we just have to stop making her sick." - Wallace Black Elk

Shadows of Shadows passing... It is now 1831... and as always, I am absorbed with a delicate thought. It is how poetry has indefinite sensations to which end, music is an essential, since the comprehension of sweet sound is our most indefinite conception. Music, when combined with a pleasurable idea, is poetry. Music without the idea is simply music. Without music or an intriguing idea, color becomes palor, man becomes carcus, home becomes catacomb, and the dead are but for a moment motionless. - Edgar Allan Poe

Bad jokes:

"Why was the belt arrested?" "Because he held up a pair of pants!!" (puke)

"How do you cut the ocean in two?" "With a sea-saw!" (barf!) from a Popsicle brand Popsicle stick

"Where do bees wait to be picked up?" "At the BUZZ stop" (hurl!) again, from Popsicle brand Popsicle stick!

"Why was the computer proud?" "It made an important DISC-COVERY" yet another wonderful joke from a Popsicle brand Popsicle stick!

"Why did Slick go out with a banana?" "Because he couldn't get a date!" (from the Q-Bert joke book)

"A man walks into a bar... 'OUCH!' he says."

(insert more tasteless jokes here, mail me if you have some!)

Copyright (C) 1996-2020 Andrew Koransky