> 30 MORE Ways To Confuse Your Roommate:
> 
> 1. Make brown-bag lunches for your roommate every morning.  Give them to
> him/her before he/she goes to class.
> 2. Every time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back too far, and
> fall over backwards.  Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes.  Then, one
> day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing, get up,
> look at the chair sternly, and say, "It's not funny anymore."
> 3. Read with a flashlight when the lights are on.  Pretend to read without
> one when the lights are out, remarking every so often how great the book is.
> 4. Get a surfboard.  Put it on your bed.  Stand on it, and pretend to surf
> for about fifteen minutes.  Then, pretend to "wipe out," and fall off the
> bed onto the floor.  Pretend you are drowning until your roommate comes
> over to "rescue" you.
> 5. Keep a hamster as a pet.  Buy a blender, and make milkshakes every day.
> Then, one day, get rid of the hamster.  Make a shake using a lot of
> ketchup.  When your roommate comes in, look at the shake, look at the empty
> cage, and tell your roommate, "I was curious."
> 6. Make toast for breakfast every morning, but don't plug the toaster in.
> Eat the plain bread, looking at the toaster angrily, and complain that the
> toaster doesn't know what it's doing.  If your roommate suggests plugging
> it in, go on a tangent about fire-safety hazards.
> 7. Pack up all of your things and tell your roommate that you're going away
> to "find yourself."  Leave, and come back in about ten minutes.  If your
> roommate asks, explain that you're not a hard man to find.
> 8. Never speak to your roommate directly.  If you need to ask or tell
> him/her something, go to another room and call him/her on the phone.
> 9. Every night, before you go to bed, beg your roommate for a glass of
> water.  When he/she brings it, dump it on the floor and immediately go to
> sleep.  If he/she ever refuses to bring you a glass of water, lie on the
> bed and pretend to be dying of dehydration, making  annoying gagging
> sounds, until he/she does so.
> 10. Every time the phone rings, turn on the stereo at full volume and begin
> to violently slam-dance with your roommate.  If he/she asks about it, say,
> "Oh, that damn hypnotist...."
> 11. Hang a picture of your roommate on the wall.  Throw darts at it.  Smile
> at your roommate often, saying things like, "How nice to see you again."
> 12. Get a can of beans.  Label them, "Jumping beans."  Eat them, and then
> jump around the room.  Get another can of beans.  Label them, "Dancing
> beans."  Eat them, and then dance around the room.  Get another can of
> beans.  Label them, "Kill Your Roommate beans."  Eat them, smiling at your
> roommate.
> 13. Every time your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, and then wake
> him/her up and say, "It's time to go to bed now."
> 14. Insist that your roommate recite the "Pledge Of Allegiance" with you
> every morning.
> 15. Recite "Dr. Seuss" books, all the time.  Eventually, think up melodies
> for the words and sing them, loudly, directly to your roommate.  If he/she
> tells you to stop, act offended and spend the day in bed.
> 16. Put up traffic signs around the room.  If your roommate doesn't obey
> them, give him/her tickets.  Confiscate something your roommate owns until
> he/she pays the tickets.
> 17. Walk, talk, and dress like a cowboy at all times.  If your roommate
> inquires, tell him/her, "Don't worry little buckaroo.  You'll be safe with
> me."
> 18. Complain that your elbows, knees, and other joints have been bothering
> you.  Get a screwdriver, and pretend to "fix" them.
> 19. Paint abstract paintings, and title them things like, "Roommate Dying
> in a Car Crash," and "Roommate Getting Whacked in the Head with a Shovel."
> Comment often about how much you love the paintings.
> 20. Wear glasses, and complain that you can never see anything.  Bump into
> walls and doors.  Put your clothes on backwards.  Say, "Who's that?" every
> time your roommate enters the room.  When you're not wearing the glasses,
> act like you can see fine.
> 21. Buy a lava lamp.  Stare at it for hours, imitating its movements with
> your face.  Explain to your roommate that you have established a connection
> with the spirit world through the lava lamp.  Tell your roommate that 
> "Grandma said hi."
> 22. Keep empty jars on the shelf.  Tell your roommate that this is your
> collection of "inert gases."  Look at them often.  One day, act surprised
> and angered, and accuse your roommate of having released one of the gases.
> Cover your nose and mouth and run out of the room.
> 23. Wear scary Halloween masks.  Look in the mirror and scream hysterically
> for about five minutes every time you put one on.
> 24. Rollerskate up and down the hallway.  Every time you see your roommate,
> crash into him/her and knock him/her down.  Apologize, and say that he/she
> looked like "the enemy."
> 25. Put headphones on your roommate while he/she is sleeping, and
> subliminally teach him/her to speak Spanish, play the trombone, and
> memorize all the major imports and exports of each African nation.
> 26. Stick your head out the window, but forget to open it, so that your
> head crashes through the glass.  Then say, "Silly me," open the window
> again, and try to stick your head through.  Act like you hit your head on
> something.
> 27. Dress like a military officer.  Insist that your roommate salute you
> upon sight.  If he/she refuses, insist that he/she do 100 push-ups.  Keep
> saying things like, "Your momma isn't here to take care of you any more."
> 28. Keep a collection of teeth in a jar.  Act excited whenever you add to
> it, and say things like, "In a little while I'll have enough for that 
> sailboat."
> 29. Get a pet rabbit.  At a designated time every day, take the rabbit into
> the bathroom and engage in loud shouting matches.  If your roommate
> inquires, refuse to discuss the situation.
> 30. Take three percocet. Smoke marijuana. Do what comes naturally.